“Live and let live.” – Anonymous

In recovery circles, there is the adage, “live and let live.” What it means is, “you should tolerate the opinions and behavior of others so that they will similarly tolerate your own.” In the hotel business, it might best be quoted as, “stay and let stay” (yeah, “stay” is not just for dogs as the above photo suggests). Hotels are all about getting guests to stay and stay as long as they want (let stay). But I’m wondering if “live and let live” and “stay and let stay” are not one and the same. Here’s how I read it:

If “live and let live” is “live your life your way so I can live my life my way,” then “stay and let stay” in terms of that same life lesson might read, “stay in my life my way so I can stay in your life your way.” But that poses a problem, does it not? It sounds selfish, right? Would it be best to rephrase it, “stay in my life your way so you can let me stay in your life my way.” Dang! That sounds selfish, too. 😒

Whether we are “living” or “staying,” it is best that we each live and stay true to ourselves. It is perfectly okay and, actually quite necessary, to hear the viewpoints and opinions of others about the way we are living and staying true to ourselves. It’s good to get outside advice. But there is a boundary here. If you or I are being true to ourselves and someone else has ulterior motives of wanting to make our way their way and we sense control on their part, then, “yes, Houston, we have a problem.” There’s another reason the adage, “To Thine Own Self Be True,” would work here. 😁

In the hotel business, the whole “stay and let stay” has to do with getting guests in so they won’t leave, right? That is what “let stay” is saying, right? Now, here and there, front desk clerks have to apply what is called DNR, and that means, “Do Not Rent.” I can’t speak for other front desk clerks, but I always frown when I have to go the DNR route with a guest, because I don’t like anyone to feel excluded, on the outside, feeling lonely and unappreciated and unnoticed. It stands to reason the DNR is applied because the guest did something “wrong.” But don’t we all do “wrong” now and then and, if we are being honest, often? Do we get DNR’ed for this? We actually do but not by a hotel but rather another entity or a person. And being DNR’ed by another entity or a person hurts, whether we did wrong or not. This is why “live and let live” and “stay and let stay” is so apropos here, because whether we are talking about a hotel or another entity or a person, we are talking about the need to be included, inside, joined, appreciated, and noticed. And who doesn’t want that, right? 👌

We all want others to just let us live and we all wants others to just let us stay. And we need to let others just live and just stay. “Letting” is not about letting someone get away with something. It’s about surrender and yielding, like in letting a car turn into the lane in front of you. There is nothing at all to be gained by not yielding to this car unless we are talking about gaining control. “I see you there, car, but I’m not going to let you in because I’m in a hurry….because no one would do that for me….because I feel like being mean today.” Whatever the reason, not letting that car go just makes the driver feel bad, and the “unyielder,” whether he or she knows it or not, by being selfish and controlling, is going to feel pretty bad, too. This is especially true when the tables are going to be turned for the “unyielder” down the road (pun intended). And, trust me, this WILL happen! But what makes both the driver feel good and the “yielder” feel good is “live and let live” and “stay and let stay” and, yes, “yield and let yield.” 😎

I end this blog post with a marketing strategy for the hotel, as that is my job. Come stay with us. We will let you stay. Come live with us. We will let you live (haha). But, seriously, this is a hotel and it is a mighty fine one. The management is a wonderful family, the staff is quite pleasant and accommodating (yeah, that includes me), and the rooms are quiet, clean and, more than anything, AIR-CONDITIONED!!!! 😅

So, “stay” with us and we will “let” you “stay”….

– Timothy J. Verret, Creative Marketing Rep


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