This painting came about from a place of deep groaning with the end result being a revelation!
I sat at the easel (I tend to be down on the ground in moments like these) and had a small blank canvas in front of me. I had no earthly (nor spiritually) idea what I was going to paint. I went forward and I applied a whole lot of paint to just this itty-bitty canvas. I realized I was “wasting” paint, so I got angry. Then, the phrase, “we’re wasting it!” came to me, and I tried to write these words onto the canvas, yet again wasting more paint in the process. The above painting is what it all came out to look like, but the phrase truly has not left my heart yet; I knew I was dealing with more than just wasted paint.
“We’re wasting it!” The connotation of the word, “waste,” is garbage, something that we discard because it no longer serves us. Some could stake the claim that “waste” is about the wasting of our natural resources, destroying the environment (sorry, factory farms, but you have to GO!!!!), the lack of food and water, and, yes, even the waste of paint. It’s the whole idea that we are wasting what God has so lovingly provided us with and taking it all for granted. “We’re wasting it!”
Now, some would say that they are wasting their lives. The hours and years seem to be ticking away rather fast, and the wonderment becomes an anthem for the human condition: “Exactly how long do we all have left on this earth?” I know I get that notion from time to time (who am I kidding? ALWAYS!). “We’re wasting it!” becomes, “am I truly counting my blessings, appreciating what God has already provided me with, not wasting one single moment of my short life?” Let us not waste one moment, okay?
The one “waste” I don’t think we can afford to waste is LOVE. It’s that BIG! I cycle in and out of love so much, one would think I would be best suited for the electric chair (or a lying down on the gurney for the ECT). I don’t think it’s all that urgent that love seems to come and go in my life. I sure would like it to be a “constant,” a “consistent,” but love does tend to wax and wane, especially when it’s about me and not so much about you. The Good News is that God’s Love IS a “constant,” a “consistent,” even when we don’t necessarily feel it so. I wrote a sonnet today about that “constant,” that “consistent” God’s Love that never leaves us high or dry, never takes a day off, never waxes and wanes. God’s Love is NEVER “waste,” I hope you know (?). Others might “waste” their love on you or you might “waste” your love on them, but God’s Love is NEVER “waste.” It’s quite the opposite; it’s “TREASURE!” There is not one thing about it that you would want to discard, I promise you that! “We’re wasting it!” is about wasting ANYTHING or EVERYTHING but NEVER God’s Love!
I am a quiet, reserved, sensitive, and most alone kind of guy. I create like mad because I am so trying to find a voice for God’s Love. I try so desperately to create something that will move you, enlighten you, challenge you, signify to you that I want to connect with you, and right now creating seems to be the only way I can really accomplish that. I don’t want to “waste” my creative time on you. I don’t want to “waste” God’s Love by boring you, God forbid! I know you may not get one single thing about what I create, but I still welcome you to interpret and decipher for yourself what I might POSSIBLY be trying to say to YOU through this creativity God gave me, because I do think I am trying to express, in the end, God’s Love. And if I have bored you, I am SOOOOO sorry; that is NOT nor will it EVER be my intention to create. There really is NOTHING boring about God’s Love.
Speaking of painting, there is no way I could come up with any color combination in a painting that would serve to tell (and show) you God’s Love. All colors would fail this purpose. In fact, all these words I’m typing up would fail to evoke God’s Love. It’s gotta be something you have to feel for yourself. I just pray I serve as some kind of vessel for that?
THE HOURS is one of my favorite films (#2 on my list of favorites, always standing to topple ORDINARY PEOPLE for #1 at any moment), and the line Virginia Woolf speaks in the film, “the poet must die….the visionary,” has always been my most favorite line from that film. But, now, I’m not so sure I must die….the visionary. Maybe I must live….the visionary….because God ain’t done with me yet. I might be done with me but I don’t think God is. “Done with me” sounds like “waste,” don’t it? Talk about the “waste” of a life at my own hands.
“They might ALL ‘waste’ their breath on you, Timothy, but I don’t ‘waste’ nothing on you, Timothy! I never ‘wasted’ ONE MOMENT in creating you, Timothy. I knew what I was doing, so PLEASE let me do the rest for you, Timothy. I ‘waste’ not, want not NOTHING but to love you, Timothy!” – God
God bless you and keep you so close always,
Timothy J. Verret